Hello Everyone! My name is Wendy and today’s blog will be more on how to be yourself!
This is not going to be as easy as counting 1-2-3. This will be way lot harder, challenging than you think because in you, there are always two sides.
One side of you will definitely being yourself, staying within a comfort zone, being in your comfortable clothes and getting cosier on bed all by yourself. I got that. I am still like that.
Even my mother will say of me, growing into a lazy pig lying on my bed without any movements.
On the other side of you, will be a different yet still a part of you who are struggling to survive in the outside world. Such as at work, attending to your friends’ birthday parties, meeting your families’ relatives and so on. Not strangers but people that you are not close to.
Even in a love relationship, you are still getting used to it and it will definitely takes courage to be yourself in front of your partner’s eyes.
So, let’s head on what are my advice to you. I may not be an expert or you might find some familiar or not even working on you. It will work out. Not to fret! 🙂
#1: Face Your Criticisms.
Everyone can make mistakes. I bet you find that sentence very familiar. Since in kindergarten until now.
People like your boss, managers, colleagues, friends and lastly, your family can find a fault in you. Well, you also can find a fault in them.
Whenever, I started out my first job, it was like a total month of nagging and blames. They cannot put that shit thing in their head that I was pretty new. Inexperienced and down there, while you said that I am new and yet you are blaming on me?
See? It was like making me feel more scared to work and made me wonder why do I need to live and wake up everyday in the early morning to face such scoldings?
It was of course a nonsense.
One day, I was talking with my mother in my bedroom. We shared the room and my heart felt like exploding and felt too much pain inside so I started pouring out my frustrations to her.
Never knew that in return, she told me her past experiences that she actually had gone through the worst. Like way worse than mine.
A mother with two children and a useless husband who were always waiting for her to come back home with food and money. Yet at work, her colleagues were jealous of her good relationship with the boss. She was allowed to go home early on time without any overtime.
Man.. her colleagues who were probably dead now, or not even married anymore and they are way older than her at that time. My mother was only in the 30’s.
It was so painful to hear that at her age, she was supposed to enjoy motherhood, living in a worry-free lifestyle as she came to Singapore to work and marry off to a good man.
Indeed, she married the wrong man, gave birth to two children who needed her and now, life is not that much better. Nothing changed. The only thing changed is that her children are stronger than the person she always feared. Which is her husband. My father.
So, I always keep in thought whenever I worked, “My mother has faced much more criticism than me, what rights should I complain? I am a graduate even, way smarter than my family. I can get a good paying job, explore the world because I am not tied to anything except my old parents.
So, let’s say you faced this and you do not know how to solve. If you do feel that this job is not gaining you good experience for the future or your family do not understand you, get out of the place.
All I know is that I believe there is always a right one out there for you. 🙂 It is a matter of overcoming your fear, a mindset that has not yet happened to you.
#2: Surround Yourself with Right Books!
Wow! Guys! I adores but not totally love reading books! It gives me knowledge in things that I do not know of. Then, that is when I started publishing posts on self-care because it affects not only me, but you a lot.
Back in younger days, romance and fictional books were my type of books. However, they are just fantasies. They do not happen. Not as if a tall and warm-hearted guy will like me.
I always act hot and cold. (Laughs)
Plus, these fictional books actually make you feel worse and imagine things that are not actually will happen in your life. You might not even get to meet a hunk but a vegetarian? Aw.
So, start reading books that actually helps you along the way. Just take an hour on reading. It does not kill you or take your life, right? Just take one and start on it.
#3: Practise Challenging Yourself.
Okay guys, by saying that you have to practise challenging yourself is seriously a must!
You need to develop new skills, hobbies and interests. How? Explore lo!
Research on Mr. Google. Mr. Google is super friendly and has loads of shitty information to share with you.
It is all on you whether anot, you will take the initiative to do it.
Before starting this blog, I hesitated to pay SGD 130 if I am not wrong to pay for secured domain and self-hosted plan. It is not easy, okay? It was like my last bits left of my income. ( I was awfully unemployed.)
Thought I would regret but nah once paid, I started to be working real serious on my blog. Along the way, that is when researching and reading books on how to drive traffic, SEO shitty information and so on.
It made me feel like wow I am such a genius! No one is born stupid! It is all on you.
You want to start but hesitate? That is when you damn need to press, “GO”.
#4: Procastination Is Your Wall.
Everyone of you, including myself, we have this ego thing! It is totally normal! We definitely procrastinate but once you get to overcome it ‘manually’ like practically stepping on a pedal and drive!
You just pass the test and broke down the wall of procrastination. It is not easy anyway. People will judge you. You feel eyes on yourself and word of mouths keep making your ears feel itchy. Then, you just stop doing whatever it is and drop them.
NO! This is just a wall. Break them with your shovels of courage and determination! You want to be yourself! You want those fucking boss to know that you are at your limits and actually doing your fucking damn works!
Say it! Do it! Break it down!
Do not run away from them. Otherwise, you lose yourself.
#5: Present is a Mirror of Your Future.
Past is just a useless past. You may or may not have heard of this saying which is ‘Past is a past. Your future will be your present.’
It is a very common saying where you will see on social media apps like Instagram. Honestly speaking, I personally still have trauma, still have nightmares but not those serious seizures types.
They are mostly of people that I have met with before and up until now, I have wondered why have I made such a stupid decision.
Now, it is still hard for me to accept new relationships plus, it is not possible for me anymore. Simply speaking, I cannot love or have a marriage. Which is okay. Marriage was not on my lifetime list after all.
Whenever my colleagues shared food with me, I would avoid sharing cutlery. Even barely skin touching is like a big no for me. It will not be easy for me to overcome this but I do hope you can overcome yours.
My future will be myself being a motivational outspoken speaker! So, whatever I am doing now might be a part of my future! 🙂 So, start doing things that you actually want the best outcome in the future just for yourself.
Do not do things to impress or please people so that you can have friends or family support. They will come naturally. Just do what you love to do as long as they are the right things! 🙂
Okay, so this is a part of being yourself post! There will be a part 2 which will consist of another 5 ways to be yourself!
Most importantly is that please love yourself. 🙂 It is such a nice feeling to feel yourself accepted but if you are not happy, then, it is pointless. Like a living shell with none of your real soul.
Thank you for reading my blog! This is Wendy.
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