Hi Everyone! My name is Wendy and I am from Singapore. Currently 24 this year and turning 25 in this coming November, no boyfriend, no friends except for having only 2 of them who are still in contact with me.
So, practically for today’s blog will be on a summary of how I started a relationship with just myself.
Having A Single Life.
I am single for 8 months after I stopped my ridiculous sugaring relationships as they were totally wrong. Men were just after my body and claimed to have no time for me just for the dates.
So, I started to pamper and love myself more than bothering much about others.
I do feel lonely from time to time and it is probably due to having no goals or dreams or not knowing what I want to do for myself.
Single life can have pros and cons.
People around you might think that you actually have a problem with yourself, like gender bias and you might like the same gender as you. Otherwise, they might think you are not brave enough to have a relationship.
Pros of being single are like you do not need to wait for anyone when you are out for a date! No complaints for the waiting time. Plus, you get to wander around the area all by yourself, for as long as you want without any curfew or no rush!
For me, I get to watch a movie at the last minute or on that day without planning on the day before. After the movie, I can decide any next location to go to with a happier mood.
Of course! I used to date and I remembered being ‘looked down’ by my ex for being a spendthrift and not realistic. It was probably due to age gap. I was studying while he was working. Most of the time, he would be paying for the meals since he works.
I was naive and had fun with my own friend. However, we both like skin to skin contact but he had stated before, which might not be uncommon to you.
If I loved him, I should be willing to give my body which means having sex with him and gives away my virginity to him.
I could not! Not ready and how can he expect me to answer like that? If so, all the girls will have been not a virgin!
Made a Big Mistake
So after being single and I hopped onto sugaring relationship. Which means meeting a sugar daddy (having sex and pampering always come along) and we both get to benefit from each other. But it was a big mistake to do that!
Money? It is best to earn instead of ‘selling’ your body for money! Sugar daddies or sugar babies might claim it is not the same as prostitutes, those who are practically selling their body for money.
It is only half true. Remember that, sex always comes in whenever you started a relationship. Especially for men, who claimed that if you want something from them, sex is like a payment.
So, I have decided that I will never ever fall in love or have a relationship.
Not All Men Are Like That.
Same goes to women! While it might not be easy to find someone right for you, I think it is important to work with an open mind. Although, it is still tough for me to accept any new relationships. For now, I am only open to making friends.
With my current body condition, I neither can have a normal relationship nor safe to start a family. My condition is like unstable mind right now, no one can help or even bother to help me except myself.
That is why I started dating to love myself more than anyone else does.
How To Start Dating Yourself?
Like a normal date! No bias or nothing judgemental. No more comparisons to others. There are always imperfections in the world. What you see out there might not be the facts! I mean, it is always not the fact thing!
Whenever there are movies of my favourite genres like Marvel or Avengers, I will just go and watch it alone! Then, I will get my favourite bubble tea, have a good meal all by myself.
Take my time strolling out there at the bustling streets. Sometimes, I take the chance to read books to treat my mind with fun information and loving quotes from the books. Books like poems, how to self-care and so on.
Whenever I faced a hard time, I tried to meditate or just go to sleep while telling myself, these people are just craps and the day will pass by.
It is not easy to just ignore people who talked back at you or hurt your feelings and you turn to no one to share your frustrations.
If you have friends which will be great. If not, write it down or start a blog and vent all of it there!
There are also funny korean variety shows to watch and make yourself laugh uncontrollably.
Final Parting for the Blog.
No matter what kind of relationship you have, if you do not feel happy or actually struggling along the way, then cut it off. There is always a new one coming!
It is very important to love and accept yourself for who you are. You need to learn how to grow yourself.
Otherwise, when you started a new relationship, you will definitely overlook your flaws and expect your partner to sacrifice theirs just for you. Plus, if you accept yourself for who you are and get stronger and clear about your choice of partner.
Let such things come smoothly with no rush. Even if you date a guy or a lady for 5 years, after marriage things will change unexpectedly. It is due to many possible reasons like judgments, expectations and doubts, stuff like that.
Just listen to your heart and follow it. Think before you act.
Start dating yourself! Thank you!