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A thought on how we supposed to live?

Have you ever thought that you have to be doing things right according to someone like your parents or even your managers and friends? Have you ever felt that their decisions actually work out for you?

My Situation

Because for me, it is totally a mess up. Until this year, I then realised that my past 25 years are a total waste of time schooling, following someone’s way or not even following my own wishes.

I always thought that there is always a reason why I ended up like this right now, where I am right now or even include my low paying job as a barista at Starbucks (a renowned cafe ) like seriously?

I do not want to make myself think that I am useless just because I am deaf. People do not hire me because I cannot take up calls? Emails cannot do the replacement of calling? Like I am so free and so are you? I doubt so.

Likewise, people like you who are working 8 to 6 pm jobs are kinda pathetic. Every weekday mornings are a rush hour for you. I am always there, patient and calm standing at the escalator to go down to catch the train.

I was never really in a rush because I left my house pretty early.

What about you?

Unlike you, what were you doing last night? Busy making love with your partner? I understood that part. But is there a particular reason to why you always rush to work?

Main reason could be is that you actually do not feel like leaving the house just to go to work, stay in front of that computer for pathetic 8 hours. 

It is boring, like seriously. 

But not with any choices. Most of us are not born rich and even rich people have to work every single day, and mind you, they work longer hours than poor people. Their list of duties is way too long for you to read.

We all always have a choice.

You have a choice and it is all up to you to decide.

For me, I want to be the first millionaire, a deaf one and mind you I hate human beings who are so heartless just to survive alone. Because teamwork actually beats any individuals out there. 

Earning my pathetic $1.2k per month is seriously not what I want for myself and finding jobs are even tougher. Their expectations are like expecting gold bags to drop from the sky automatically. Suck their own shits.

So, I gave up on job hunting till probably March 2020 if I have to find. (Hopefully, I could)

No actions mean dilly dally ~

Meanwhile, not going to do nothing like you while waiting and working like it is a pathetic routine. This is what you do, right?

Eat, work, play games and sleep. On weekends, you are off on a movie date! I did not! I never meant to be single.

I want to be attached, have great sex with my ideal guy and ride like shit whole day.

But why not? Because he will not feed me. I have to feed myself. Love or relationships come later because I am still struggling with my life purpose. So are you.

Do not hide things to yourself. I do not anymore. People do not like even my manager I also do not give a damn. 

I do what I please to do. Life is too short for you not to achieve greater things. 

This is your life! You do not life for others. 🙂 right? Be heartless is totally fine. Carry on and I mind my own business. (I can be annoyed at elderly because they are not kings or queens of England but some douches. )

Good night!